The Old Man to My Ten O'clock.

Recently I was in this matatu, headed to the city for some business. If you must know I was headed to AON, the insurer to sort out some issues, see, I am Manchester United blood and flesh, ha! The safari was okay, sane driver, sane passengers save for this guy that was behind me, to my 4 o’clock exactly. I blame him for my tribulations today, this cold is killing me. His cough would reverberate through the matatu, I mean, it’s as if he would search deep into his chest and find a bulky hulk of a cough, you know, the “jitu la miraba mine lenye umbo wa jirim jirim” kind of cough and set it free in the matatu, to devour us, now I’m at home, blowing my nose every few mitutes and coughing in a way that is causing me pain. It seemed quite histrionic how he coughed, like he knew what he was doing. Damn you stranger who caused me all this, hell has a special place for people like you. I digress. This matatu I was in, at my ten o’clock was this old mzee, probably in his 60’s, who seemed quite respectable, you know, those innocuous old mzees who are sought after for their wisdom. Those old mzees you have a chat with and you suddenly have an epiphany as their words sink into the depth of your soul.
 By the way, don’t you just hate it when total strangers in a matatu strike up a conversation with you as though they know you? And especially women, ya’ll like doing that shit, baiting men with your perfectly white teeth and a face, eyes and smiles that would make angels themselves sin. Huh, come to think of it you lot actually made angels, from heaven, I mean goddamn angels leave their heavenly comfort to this despicable piece of crap called earth to lay with you guys. How are we, mortal men of flesh and bone supposed to resist your charms. And you reprimand us when you find that you are one among a few…please!
 I digress, so this old mzee to my ten o’clock, I saw him look out his window quite intently, like he had seen some once in a life time thing. He had. Have you ever seen a woman with a behind so fine, that common sense evades you completely for a few minutes. A behind you can bounce a forty bob coin off of. Those behinds that tease you as the lady passes by, that disorients you completely, that is what this old mzee was staring at, so keenly and so intently, as if studying the behind, taking notes in his mind, admiring maybe, or perhaps it was reminiscent of his youth, the fountain of youth in his soul, not visible to the naked eye though.
The mzee, with what seemed like complete satisfaction, then sank back into his seat, into those seats that can be sank into, those that seem curved in a way as though to hug you, and he suddenly became quite self-conscious and did a quick sweep with his eyes to see who was looking at him and then he met my eyes. I was holding in a smile and he quickly looked forward, but he knew. He knew that I knew what he had done, and without a care in the world, the crossed his arms and drifted off to sleep.